So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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