She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
