Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
