There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
