dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
