The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
