Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
