brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
