We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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