So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so much tequila, so little girl.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
why is half of my head shaved?
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