butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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