I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
