I didn't shave. On purpose
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
PS: I just woke up from my shower
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
