I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Mom said you looked used
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
