She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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