thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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