How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
