Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
