How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
