Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
