Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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