The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
