you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
