we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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