he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
