So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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