So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
They have beer where we have blood.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
