im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
