You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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