Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
