I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
