And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
