addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
