ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
