I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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