So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
