Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
