I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
