he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So squirting runs in the family.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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