Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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