oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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