I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You have to summon your inner elephant
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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