You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
