So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My dick has a subreddit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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