Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
