actually, I'm a sock model
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
