My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
