Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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