the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I didn't shave. On purpose
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
