so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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