and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
