the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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