this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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