just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
