found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
