why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
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I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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