im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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