So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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