trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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