She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
