you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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